Frozen Memories
by queenofthemoment10
Summary: Ginny Cartwright is the youngest of the Cartwright Clan. It's the holiday season at the Ponderosa and an innocent holiday turns dangerous


Strong winds whistled through the trees standing tall in the mountains surrounding the ranch house of the Ponderosa. The snow covered ground stretched far beyond the borders of the Ponderosa and beyond the ice cold blue waters of Lake Tahoe. Dawn swept over the sleepy land but the inhabitants of the large ranch house rose before the sun. The date was December 29, 1861. The Civil War had started only months before, but for me that was far away. My name is Virginia Lee Cartwright and I am the youngest of four, and I'm the only girl. For me things east of the Mississippi didn't matter, however, to my eldest brother Adam and my brother Joe, who was just two years my elder, it did matter. Adam's mother was a Yankee from Boston so he was all for the Union. Joe…Joe's mother was from New Orleans, so he is an all-out confederate. Adam and Joe fight a lot, but they've started fighting more since this whole thing started. Usually Pa has to break them up, but even after the argument is over I can still see the anger in Joe's face, and the anger lurking in Adam's eyes. And me? Well my Ma was from right here in Nevada so if she was still alive I honestly don't think she would have an opinion on it. My roots lay here in Nevada Territory so I don't like to think of what goes on back east. Hoss who is my second oldest brother was born on the trail, so like me his heart lies in the west. In case this was confusing for you I'll explain a little. My Pa has been married three times. Adam is twenty nine and his Mother died shortly after giving birth to him. Hoss is twenty three and his Mama died during an Indian attack a few weeks after his birth. Joe is nineteen and his Ma died when she fell from her horse, Joe was about four years old then. And me, well I'm adopted. My mother was looking for work a year after Joe's Ma died and my Pa, or as most know him Ben Cartwright, took her in. They never did marry but Adam said they were engaged…though I don't remember that. Adam never accepted Joe's Ma or mine…at that point in his life he didn't want another Ma…because every time he started to love his mother he would lose her. I barely remember my Ma…but I remember her death vividly. I wish that wasn't what I remembered but it is. We went ice skating one beautiful day. I was only four years old and it was my first time. Joe and Hoss tried their best to teach me but they were too rough with me so Adam took over. I've always loved it when I've had Adam's attention and approval. After a while I wanted to show my Ma all Adam had taught me. Her praises echo in my dreams...we skated over a weak spot in the ice and we both fell through. Pa and Adam rushed to us and got us out. Hoss rode ahead to send a hand to get the doctor, and when he finally arrived there wasn't anything he could do for her. Pa stayed with her and told her he would take care of me, even adopt me. My mother said since they were to be married anyway she already thought of Ben Cartwright as my father. When my mother died my big brother Adam sat up with me all night long, because of that we have a bond, he's protective of me and although it isn't necessary I'm protective of him, and a little motherly…which is something he hasn't always appreciated. As I grew the boys and everyone else started to call me Ginny for short, but not Adam. He has and always will call me Virginia, and out of all the people I know, he's the only one I let call me that.

The day was two days before New Year's Eve and my family was busier than usual. Pa was in Carson City tying up a few business deals for the spring, Adam was facing a load of paper work plus a few barn chores, Hoss and Joe were handling all the outdoor chores like riding fence, getting supplies and breaking a string of horses for the army. And me, well I had to clean the whole house from top to bottom, and cook for the annual New Year's Eve party we held every year on the Ponderosa. Usually Hop Sing did the cooking while I cleaned and helped him a little. But this year he had a family emergency so I was doing it all alone, and feeling slightly overwhelmed. In my opinion we weren't even close to being this busy for Christmas, or even last year at this time…but times do change and so does the amount of work. Pa was supposed to get back the day of New Year's Eve so without him to mediate our fights had a tendency to escalate. Usually they started with a complaint or a request; and that morning it was a request.

"Ginny I got a hole in this pair of pants. Patch it up, will ya?" Joe laid his pants over a chair in the living room. I was in the kitchen preparing breakfast so I didn't hear his request.

Coming out of the kitchen with an armful of plates and food I set the table and glanced over towards the living room. My quick eye noted the tan pants lain over the chair "Joseph! I just finished cleaning this room! Why are your pants there?!" My voice rose with every word.

Joe, who's never in a good mood in the morning especially if he's yelled at, quickly turned hot "So you can sew them!"

"Joe I already have enough on my plate. Put them in my sewing basket and I'll get to them tonight." I snapped

Joe, equally mad, yelled back "No you won't! Past few nights you've gone to bed as soon as you finished the dishes."

"Alright then! I'll get them done when I can and if you can't wait you can try sewing them yourself!"

Joe was prepared to snap back but Hoss pulled him aside while Adam herded me into the kitchen.

Before Adam spoke I could hear Hoss telling Joe to simmer down. "Virginia" Adam spoke softly.

"What?" I snapped

"Don't raise your voice to me young lady." Adam's voice was level and controlled, but it had that icy tone it always held when he was getting mad.

I sighed to calm myself. Somehow no matter how mad I am Adam can calm me down. "I'm sorry."

He pulled me into himself and gave me a quick kiss on my forehead. Holding me at arm's length he looked me up and down. "You're tired. We all are but we can't keep going like this. I have an idea."

"What?"

"Come on." Adam led me out to the dining area. Hoss and Joe were already seated and Joe still wore a scowl.

I took my seat next to Joe across from Adam and he proposed his idea. "I think tomorrow we ought to take a little holiday."

Joe immediately perked up and so did Hoss till the realization of all the work we had left hit him. "Adam we can't afford to take off right now. You of all people ought to know that."

"Hoss how much work do you and Little Joe have left?"

Well" Hoss thought for a moment. "We have eight more horses to break but between the two of us we should be able to get that done today."

"Alright and I have about 30 more pages of paper work left. Virginia what do you have left?"

"I should be able to finish cleaning the house by tonight. After that I just have a little prep work for the food."

"Alright here's what we do. Tomorrow we'll sleep in a little, Hoss and Joe you set the table while Virginia and I make breakfast. Then we'll all clean up and have a play day in the snow." Adam sounded like a little kid as he spoke. "After that we help Virginia with what she needs, then her and Hoss make treats while Joe and I finish the paper work. We'll end with a relaxing evening around the fire."

"I like it!" Hoss exclaimed.

"Won't Pa get mad if we take off?" I asked

"Nah" Joe said "He's not getting back till late tomorrow night! Let's do it Adam."

"What do you say Virginia? A vacation tomorrow?"

I looked from expectant brother to another. "Alright. We'll all work hard today so we can do it."

A cheer arose from the table and that morning's breakfast turned out to be a lot more pleasant than the previous three days had been.

After breakfast ended each of us scattered to complete our jobs for the day. I cleared the table then proceeded to wash the dishes. Once that was finished I scrubbed my kitchen from top to bottom. That took up over half the day. When I finished that task I did some prepping but not much so the food wouldn't spoil. I glanced at the clock and noticed I had some time before I had to make dinner so I decided to mend Joe's pants. When I found the hole I was shocked I missed it. The hole was gapping. Who knows what he did to it to make it get like that. I sighed and sat down to fix the hole to my best ability.

During this whole time Adam was sitting at my father's desk working on his paper work. Out of all my brothers Adam is the only one who does the paper work but he certainly doesn't enjoy it. I saw him put down his pencil and rub his tired eyes trying to focus on the numbers. I set Joe's finished pants aside and went into the kitchen to get him a cup of coffee. He thanked me for it when I delivered it but he didn't drink any of it.

"Adam drink some. It will wake you up a little."

He smiled briefly. Only a half-smile…very rarely do I ever see him give a full smile, even when he is happy. "Alright Virginia I'll drink some."

I looked at him a little worried. "How's it coming along?"

He sighed and leaned back in his chair. His right hand massaged the bridge of his nose. He only does that when he's frustrated or has a headache. Or both. "I don't think I'll be joining you all tomorrow."

"Adam you have to come!" I almost shouted.

He raised an eyebrow at me. But it was not a questioning look, it was a warning.

"After dinner I'll help you so you can come. You need to have a little fun in your life you know." I brought down the level of my voice and softened my tone so Adam wouldn't have any cause to give the warning again.

He sighed "Alright little sister." He glanced at the clock "I'll work till dinner is ready and hopefully we won't have much to do afterwards."

I smiled at him and turned back to the kitchen to fix dinner for the four of us.

Joe and Hoss meanwhile where outside working on the fence line in the bottom lands. Pa usually makes a point of making sure all the fences are strong before winter sets in. In Nevada heavy snows usually come in the first week of December, and usually they break down the fence lines. So far our snows had only been about three feet deep. But the winds can change the depth from six feet in some places to not even an inch in others. Hoss and Joe's job was to ride the line and check for any breaks, look for rustlers, which are common this time of year. It never took much to get Joe irritated. Joe loved the snow but not when he had to work in it. Part of Joe couldn't help but think his eldest brother and little sister had the easy jobs.

"At least they're warm" Joe muttered rubbing his cold fingers together

"Maybe," Hoss agreed "But I'd rather be out here than doing house or paperwork."

Joe smiled slightly. His brother was right, Joe hated paper work. He'd rather be cold then inside with half his brain hurting and his eyes growing tired. After he thought about it, he realized maybe he did have the better end of the deal.

"I guess you're right. Let's finish this and eat lunch."

"I like the sound of that" Hoss said enthusiastically

"After that we'll finish breaking that string for the Army, and then we'll head home."

Later that evening we all met around the table for dinner, tired and hungry. The first half of the dinner went by silently, utensils clanking dishes and an occasional "pass the rolls" were the only sounds till Adam broke the silence.

"Virginia, did you finish everything?"

"Yes, Adam."

"Good girl," Adam turned to Hoss and Joe "What about you two?"

"Got it all done Adam" Joe beamed. He was ready for a vacation.

"Excellent!" Adam smiled but his eyes didn't share the same joy

"Adam?"

"What is it Virginia?"

"How many pages do you have left?"

Adam sighed heavily "Fifteen. I know it sounds like I didn't get much done but some of those figures and contracts took a while." Adam looked around the table and saw the downcast faces. He snorted "You three have nothing to be so down about. Have fun tomorrow." He poured himself another cup of coffee.

Joe shrugged like it was taken care of and returned to his meal. Hoss frowned at the table and I could tell he was trying to think of how to help Adam. I rolled my eyes "You really think we would go without you Adam?"

Joe dropped his fork "We're not!?"

"Of course not! We'll help you do some tonight, Adam." He started to protest but I interrupted him. "When you're done eating you three get started on it while I do the dishes then when I'm done I'll help. The four of us can get that done pretty quickly."

Adam leaned back in his chair "Alright but you forgot one thing, I still have barn chores."

Hoss piped in "I'll take care of that! I ain't real good at them figures anyway."

Joe scowled "Well ain't that the truth"

Hoss shrugged Joe's insult off, "At least I'll be doing work I enjoy, Joseph."

Adam piped in, "Each of us takes five pages. If Hoss happens to be able to help we each give him one."

"Sounds like a plan to me." I commented

Adam looked over at Joe

"I guess so" he muttered

"Then it's a plan. Thank you for the suggestion, Virginia."

I smiled "Hopefully it will go smoothly." I glared at Joe and he got the message.

Somehow it did work out. After dinner Hoss headed straight to the barn, I went to the kitchen while Joe and Adam seated themselves at a table to work on the paper work. Once I completed clearing the table and putting away dishes I joined Adam and Joe in their work. It was close to eight o'clock when Adam finished and since I was a little behind Joe, Adam took a page from my stack. Joe gave up in frustration after he couldn't get one of the figures correct and went out to help Hoss finish up. Since Adam had been working on the paper work all the day the only thing he did outside of that was feed the stock, so the barn required some attention. Adam and I completed the last paper when the clock rang ten. Our brothers came in after we placed the books on the shelves in my father's office. Without saying anything I could tell all my brothers were as worn out as I was. All four of us plopped down on the davenport and stared absently into the fire place.

"We finished everything." I smiled

"We sure did." Adam replied "It was a long day but everyone did a good job. Thank you."

"Anytime Adam." Hoss yawned

I looked wearily from one brother to the next, "I'm going to bed" I stated standing up.

Hoss let out another yawn, "I'm so tired I can hardly move"

"Yeah well you better move cause none of us feels like carrying you upstairs" Joe commented harshly.

Adam stepped in, "I think we all need to get to bed. Since we finished everything up we can all sleep in tomorrow, eat and go play. The only work we'll have to do is a little barn work and help Virginia with some prep for the kitchen."

"Sounds good to me." Stated Joe "what time are we getting up tomorrow?"

"How's seven sound?" Adam asked

"Seven? You mean it Adam?" I asked in shock

"I sure do."

"What about the horses? We can't feed them late."

"I'll get one of the hands to feed them tomorrow."

"Won't they be a little mad if we give them extra work because we're taking a vacation?" Joe stated "I would be."

"They might. But they're the employees and also they are getting a few days off after tomorrow. So if you ask me they don't have much room to complain." Adam made clear

"Sounds like a plan to me" I said "Now I'm going to bed. See you boys at seven."

"Good night, Virginia." Adam called after me

"Night, Ginny." Hoss and Joe echoed.

On a typical morning I'm up at four and my brothers get up sometime between four thirty and five. I get up first because I fix breakfast but I really do hate getting up at that time. I surprised myself that morning by waking up at six. Looking out the window I saw that for the first time in years the sun had beat me to peeping through the glass of my window. Honestly I couldn't remember the last time I hadn't been up before the sun…the only time it beat me was when I was sick. Unwillingly I wiggled out from under my covers and slipped into a thick dress and followed it with shoes. Stopping in front of the mirror I fixed my hair into a braid. Straightening my skirts I went downstairs. When I came into view of the living room I saw Adam sitting on the couch gazing into the fire, he turned when he heard my footsteps.

"You surprised me."

"Why's that?" I replied

"I didn't think you would sleep this late. I couldn't believe I slept till five thirty."

I laughed when I saw the shadow from his beard. He hadn't shaved that morning. "Were you disappointed there was no hot water outside your door for a shave?" outside of cooking breakfast I always start the fire in the main room and set a pitcher of hot water with a towel outside my brother's and father's door for their shave.

A lazy grin crossed his face "I'll admit I was a little bit disappointed, but then I decided to skip the shave today."

"Sounds like a good idea to me."

I heard a loud yawn from the steps and turned to see Hoss coming down the stairs carrying his boots.

Poor Hoss had little nicks on his face from trying to shave with cold water. "I sure wish I followed your example Adam…I haven't cut myself up this bad since the first time I shaved."

Adam recalled the time Hoss had started shaving and laughed at the memory. The poor boy looked like he had tried to rub his face against a roll of barbed wire. "I don't think you look half as bad as you did the first time you shaved." Adam commented.

Hoss chuckled at the memory "Yeah and I'm sure you didn't look any better your first time."

Joe thumped down the steps after Hoss and after rubbing at the shadow of his beard he asked what would be for breakfast.

"Joseph weren't you listening to anything I said yesterday?" Adam commented "Pancakes! While Virginia and Hoss cook breakfast we'll do some barn chores."

"Why can't I help in the kitchen?" Joe complained "Why does Hoss get to be in there?"

"Because you always make a mess of things in there!" I snapped.

Joe rolled his eyes and Hoss took on a very smug expression. Proudly he strode to the kitchen and Joe went dejectedly out to the barn while pulling his coat on. Adam and I exchanged a look and I followed Hoss to the kitchen and Adam snatched up his coat to catch up with Joe.

To my disappointment…Hoss was as messy if not worse than Joe and I kept wishing Adam had actually been the one to help me like he said he would yesterday. First Hoss got flour all over his shirt, after that he nearly dropped the bowl of batter and when we were pouring it he dripped little bits all over my beautiful stove…After many apologies from Hoss and with my patience wearing thin we finally got the table set right when Adam and Joe wear coming in from the barn. Breakfast was quiet so that gave me a feeling Adam and Joe had butted heads while out there but I couldn't think of what they would fight about. I decided I wouldn't try to find out so breakfast passed without a word. After breakfast Hoss and Joe went out to get the wagon ready to go while Adam and I cleared the table.

"I'll dry" Adam said grabbing a towel.

"Did you two fight?" I asked while pouring a kettle of warm water into the sink.

He sighed "was it that obvious?"

I gave him a look and he nodded "It was obvious" he confirmed.

"What did you two fight about now?" I asked

"Nothing important. Don't worry about it." He stated solemnly.

I glanced at him and I could tell the subject had been dropped. We washed the dishes and when we finished putting them away I put my hand on his arm to stop him "Just don't let it carry over to our holiday, ok? Have fun, Adam."

He raised the corner of his mouth. "Don't worry. We're going to have a great time."

We both went out to the living area and pulled on our coats. Adam put on his yellow barn coat, gloves, black hat and went out the door. I quickly pulled on my gloves, tied my bonnet under my chin and pulled on a warm jacket. I felt like such a girl…I usually like to wear pants but my Pa has been trying to get me to dress more like a girl so he hides all my boy clothes. The latest clothes he hid were what I would have worn that day but I had to wear the dress. It was so heavy. I ran out to catch up with my brothers who were already waiting.

"Took you long enough" Joe said as he pulled me into the wagon.

"It takes ladies a little longer to get ready Joe."

Joe smoothed back his hair "Lady? Where is this lady?"

I slapped his arm "Stop that! Adam, where are we going?" I settled into the back of the wagon and wrapped myself in one of the blankets one of my brothers had put back there. It was so cold and the wind kept howling.

"Going sledding" he called over his shoulder

I smiled. I love sledding! Hoss laid a few sleds in the back of the wagon then climbed up the seat next to Adam and we were on our way. We found an amazing sledding hill that went out over the frozen ice of Lake Tahoe. At first I was scared to go out over the lake…I thought it would break like it did thirteen years ago. But after my brothers went down and the ice was able to hold all three of them without even cracking I decided to go down. At first I refused to go out on the ice so I would bail right before I reached it. But after the snow started getting packed down it became harder and harder to bail, especially in a dress. On the last run I went further out onto the ice the any of my brothers had gone. I felt the ice crunching under my feet and suddenly I heard a sickening crack. I froze with fear.

Joe called to me, "Come on Ginny! We're freezing let's get home."

I shook my head and tried to shout back that the ice was cracking but my voice wouldn't work. After a minute all my brothers were at the bank waiting for me… Adam started figuring out what was wrong. I swallowed and took a tiny step forward then another. The further I got the less scared I became and I heard Adam's voice encouraging me to keep coming. About ten yards from the bank the ice cracked again and the next two sounds I heard were a splash and me screaming for my brother, Adam. Hoss pulled a dead tree from nearby and handed it to Adam who was already on his stomach inching toward the hole in the ice. I struggled to stay afloat, my dress kept getting heavier and heavier. My hand shot up when I went under water for the second time. I came back up coughing and I saw Adam was right there. I reached for the stick but my hand slipped off and I went back under for what I thought would be forever. When I went under I realized the pain was gone, I couldn't feel any of my body and I couldn't move. My mind was racing and working perfectly, willing my body swim to the surface but it wouldn't respond, it couldn't respond. Suddenly I felt myself being pulled up. Adam dragged me out of the water and I tried to cling to him for dear life.

Adam's head and upper body was soaking wet when I looked at him after Hoss had pulled us to the bank. It was a long hike up the hill, Hoss had to carry me up it and when we reached the wagon Adam started to take command. I could see he was shivering almost as much as I was.

"Joe you drive, Hoss sit back here with me. As soon as we get home Joe saddle up Cochise and go for the doctor."

"Adam Cochise can't get through this deep of snow very fast."

"Then take Sport." Adam returned. Adam never let anyone ride Sport; Sport was his and his alone.

After Adam told Joe to take his horse he started taking my wet clothes off and wrapping me in all the blankets that were in the back of the wagon.

"Adam keep one for yourself…you got wet too." Hoss stated as Adam wrapped the last blanket around me.

"She needs it more than I do" Adam replied.

Hoss proceeded to take off his jacket "Take my jacket and take off your shirt and coat." Hoss commanded handing Adam his jacket.

"Thanks Hoss." Adam took of his wet shirt and jacket and put on Hoss's. "Sit on her other side Hoss." Adam said scooting up against me. "We got to get her as warm as possible."

I hadn't felt as cold and terrified as I did at that moment since I was four years old. I kept remembering how I felt when my mother died…empty, alone, confused. I wondered if anyone would feel that way if I died, I didn't want anyone to feel how I had felt. "Am I going to die?" I whispered to Adam.

He took me in his arms and tried to circulate my blood by rubbing my arms, I couldn't even feel his hands on me. "No you aren't. Not on my watch."

"Adam I'm scared, I'm so scared." Tears escaped my eyes.

"Shhh" he hushed me gently. "Don't cry sweet pea. You're tears will freeze."

"I'm so cold." I complained "Adam it hurts!"

"I know. We'll get you dry when we get home, wrap blankets around you, set you in front of the fire and get some soup into you."

I wrinkled my nose when he said soup. None of my brothers can really cook. "Who's going to make that soup?" I wondered out loud

Adam seemed to remember Hop Sing wasn't home and that I had been doing all the cooking the past week. "Um..I probably will."

"I don't want food poisoning too, Adam."

"I'm not that bad at it."

"Well soup is pretty easy so you shouldn't have any trouble making it."

"That's right," He confirmed "Now you just rest and let your big brothers take care of the rest, understand?"

"Yes sir. Hey Adam?"

"What is it?"

"How about coffee instead, huh?"

He smiled a half smile, "Alright, coffee instead"


End file.
